Every week, Eric Mirlis will name winners of four awards: Winner, Loser, Quote and Moment of the
Week. These four awards comprise "The Mirly Awards".
Week ending September 3
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Andre Agassi - Only one award this week, because this is one of those
moments that should stand alone. One of the top, and most recognizable, athletes of the last twenty
years has called it a career. The only shame is that Agassi was not able to win the U.S. Open and
ride off into the sunset a champion - although we all learned along the way that he really is one.
Week ending August 20
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Stephon Marbury - One of this site's favorite whipping boys earns the nod
this time around after being the driving force behind a sneaker selling for just $14.98, designed by
Steve & Barry's. Its about time a star athlete did something noble like this.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Lonny Baxter - What exactly was the former member of the Charlotte Bobcats
thinking as he was being arrested when shots were fired from the vehicle he was driving in the vicinity
of the White House. Something tells me this story is going to get very bizarre before its all over.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Ron Artest - "Someone started trouble and I ended it. I would always
encourage you to protect yourself but in certain situations, if you can avoid them, avoid them." Of
course, the central figure in the worst brawl in American sports history uttered these words as part of
his community service. To a bunch of children. Idiot.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Tiger Woods - Golf's biggest star won his 12th major, blowing away the rest
of the field in the PGA Championship. An edict...From now on, no one should EVER question whether
he is the best golfer in the world. The real question can now legitimately be asked - Is he officially the
best ever?
Week ending August 6
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Tiger Woods - Two weeks after winning the British Open, Woods earned
became the youngest golfer ever to earn his 50th PGA victory by winning the Buick Open. As if he
needed any more records, right?
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Floyd Landis - Last week, I opted to withhold judgment on Landis' alleged
doping until his "B" test. Well, it is an easy choice for Loser this week, as Landis' sample came back
negative. He most likely will be stripped of his Tour de France win and has already been fired by his
team. Of course, this will probably just make the French think all Americans racers dope.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Andruw Jones - "I think it's rude," is how the Braves All-Star and Gold Glove
winning outfielder reacted to being placed on waivers just days shy of earning no-trade status. Jones
was claimed and awarded to an unnamed team, pending a trade being worked out, although the
Braves opted to keep him.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Floyd Landis - This one was so brutal, it warrants two awards.
Week ending July 30
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Bruce Sutter - It might have been the largest Baseball Hall of Fame class
ever, with seventeen Negro League figures all being inducted, but Sunday's star was the lone media
inductee, reliever Bruce Sutter. His induction just might open the door for other pure relievers, but he
is as famous for the split finger fastball and his bushy beard as being one of the first pure closers. It
has been a point of debate for a long time, but after thirteen years on the ballot, Sutter belongs in
Cooperstown.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Justin Gatlin - The 2004 winner of the Olympic 100 meters, Gatlin tested
positive for high testosterone levels in April and now faces a lifetime ban from track and field. Just as
the sport seemed to be cleaning itself up, with a potentially legendary rivalry between Gatlin and
Asafa Powell heating up, Gatlin now becomes the latest in a long line of track stars who have tested
positive. How long before people stop caring about this sport?...
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Floyd Landis - Maybe as long as they will care about racing, should Landis'
high testosterone test hold up. "I would like to make absolutely clear that I am not in any doping
process," is what the Tour de France winner had to say. When the test results from his "B" sample
become known, we'll find out whether he can be believed or not. I will withhold my judgment until then.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Corey Pavin - The 1995 U.S. Open winner put himself right back in the
spotlight in Milwaukee Thursday by shooting a 26 on the front nine of the U.S. Bank Championship.
The 26 (with just ten putts!!!) is a PGA Tour record for lowest nine hole total - and a bewildering
number for most golfers to comprehend.
Week ending July 16
WINNER OF THE WEEK: LeBron James - One of the NBA's biggest young stars has become a
trend-setter off it, as well, while showing a shrewd bsiness mind at the same time. Rather than taking
the Cleveland Cavaliers' max contract extension offer, James instead took a shorter, three-year deal
for less money, trading in the final two years of the deal to reach potential free agency earlier. Miami
Heat guard Dwyane Wade and Toronto Raptors forward Chris Bosh immediately followed his lead
and signed similar deals. Not many young players can see the forest for the trees - James truly is a
different breed. And a smart one, at that.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Toronto Blue Jays - For the second time in a matter of weeks, a Blue Jay has
come down with a mysterious infection. First, All-Star outfielder Alex Rios developed a staff infection
that landed him in the hospital, causing him to miss the last two weeks and at least a couple more,
not to mention the All-Star Game. Now, pitcher Ty Taubenheim has come down with an infection as
well. The Blue Jays have disinfected their clubhouse, but no one knows yet what has caused the
infections. Hopefully, there won't be any more cases.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Odalis Perez - "I've been treated like trash," is how the Dodger pitcher
descibes his situation in Los Angeles, while blaming his poor performance this season on not
pitching enough. Maybe he would pitch more if his ERA was a little better than 6.79. By the way, I
would feel like trash, as well, if I was in the second year of a three-year, $24 million contract, too.
Especially if I was pitching poorly.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: MLB All-Star Game - SO let's see. A Texas Ranger gets the game winning
hit off of a San Diego Padre and, even though neither of those teams are likely to end up in the
playoffs, let alone the World Series, that is how home field advantage was determined for the Fall
Classic. Makes sense to me.
Week ending July 9
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Roger Federer - The biggest star in men's tennis won his fourth straight
Wimbledon and avenged his French Open loss to Rafael Nadal at the same time. It is yet another
feather in the cap of the man who very well may be the best ever.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Zinedine Zidane - The French star and World Cup team captain led his country
to the World Cup Finals after announcing this tournament would be his last. However, he went out in
ignominious fashion by earning a red card in the extra session against Italy for head-butting an Italian
player. Not the best way to leave the game on the biggest stage in all of sports. His wonderful legacy
unfortunately will be forever tainted by this incident.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Jim Hendry - "I'll spend a lot of time over the break not just with the way the
situation is, but with your own players. I'll sit back and reflect on the first half," is what the Chicago
Cubs GM had to say about the future of manager Dusty Baker. The Cubs hit the All-Star Break at
34-54 and have been hit by injuries to many of the teams' stars.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Italy wins World Cup - I'd say the world's biggest sporting event's winner
deserves to reside in this spot, no? Think what you want about the game of soccer, but a TV audience
in the billions can't be argued with.
Week ending July 2
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Rod Thorn - The Nets President sat back and saw the top point guard in the
NBA Draft, Marcus Williams, fall into his lap with the 22nd pick of the first round Wednesday. For a
team in need of a point guard of the future, Thorn and the Nets can thank lady luck. Thorn has turned
around a perennial loser into a perennial contender in his time in New Jersey, so a little extra good
fortune certainly is a just reward.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Isiah Thomas - His selection of Renaldo Balkman with the 20th pick of the first
round in the NBA Draft showed just how little he cares about the fans of New York. This pick does
nothing to improve the Knicks this season. Coming on the heels of the ultimatum by his owner that
you are about to read, the axe should have fallen immediately after this selection was made. Why
bother waiting for the abomination of a season coming up?
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: James Dolan - "This is his team. He made this bed," the Knicks owner said.
"There's nobody better than him to make this thing go forward. He has one year, one season to do
that. At this time next year, Isiah will be with us if we can all sit here and say this team has made
significant progress toward its goal of eventually becoming an NBA championship team. If we can't
say that, then Isiah will not be here ." And Knick fans just realized there is no hope for the 2006-07
season. Enjoy paying for those season tickets, suckers.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Tour de France - Cycling's premier event was thrown into chaos the day
before its start, when dozens of racers, including favorite Jan Ullrich, were kicked out of the race after
testing positive for banned substances. I'm just mulling over the irony that this happens in the first
year AFTER Lance Armstrong, long accused of doping but never caught, retired.
Week ending June 25
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Dwyane Wade - The Miami Heat guard was named MVP of the NBA Finals
after leading the Heat to a six-game victory over the Dallas Mavericks. Not only has the debate begun
over whether he is the best player in the NBA, but it is only a matter of time before the first
mega-endorsement deal is announced. The the dollars roll in (as if he didn't make enough already,
right?).
LOSER OF THE WEEK: U.S. Soccer - It will now be at least four years before Americans care about
soccer again. Following a winless three games in Germany, the real question is whether Americans
actually will ever care.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Ozzie Guillen - "What a piece of [expletive] he is, [expletive] fag." That is what
the Chicago White Sox manager had to say about Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti. If
anyone is anything in this whole thing, it is Guillen, who is an ignorant moron. I've already spent too
long discussing him.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Carolina Hurricanes - Watching the hoisting of the Stanley Cup is still
chill-inducing. Congrats to the Hurricanes and captain Rod Brind'Amour on their first Cup win.
Week ending June 18
There are some weeks where, no matter what happens, you just can't escape the idiocy in sports.
This is one of them. Below, you will not find Phil Mickelson, who deserved this award for his U.S.
Open 18th hole meltdown. No, these four transcend sports this week and truly deserve the title.
LOSER OF THE WEEK I: Ben Roethlisberger - For riding and crashing his motorcycle while not
wearing a helmet or having the proper license, despite repeated warnings from friends, family,
teammates and coaches. He's lucky he didn't kill himself.
LOSER OF THE WEEK II: J.J. Redick - DUI. He's lucky he didn't kill someone. So much for that
squeaky clean off-the-court image.
LOSER OF THE WEEK III: Esteban Loaiza - DUI. He's lucky he didn't kill someone. The Oakland A's
pitcher was clocked at 120 mph.
LOSER OF THE WEEK IV: B.J. Upton - DUI. Another Devil Rays prospect gets in trouble.
Organizational control, anyone?
Week ending June 11
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Rafael Nadal - Actually, the real winner is tennis. Ladies and gentlemen, it
looks like we officially have a rivalry. Nadal took his second straight French Open Sunday, knocking off
world number one Roger Federer to take the title. At the same time, Federer was stopped in his quest
to win his fourth major in a row, and his first French title. Nadal is now 6-1 against Federer since
2004, while Federer has lost just eight other matches in that time. Let's hope they meet in the Finals
of as many tournaments as possible.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Terrell Owens - From now on, I will refer to him as J.O. (for jerk-off), not T.O.
This time around, a picture of the new Dallas receiver at Game One of the NBA Finals in Dallas is
worth a whole lot more than words.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Ken Kendrick - "This guy did no less than steal from us." The Arizona
Diamondbacks' General Partner is talking about recently released reliever and headline generator
Jason Grimsley, who has become the latest focal point in baseball's drug scandal. The
Diamondbacks have stated they will not pay Grimsley after they learned federal agents had searched
his home in an investigation into performance-enhancing drugs.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: World Cup - The world's biggest and grandest sporting competition got
started on Friday. No more really needs to be said.
Week ending June 4
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Wayne Chrebet - Too often, athletes hang on too long. The Jets receiver
officially hung the cleats up this week after repeated concussions kept sending him to the sidelines.
One of sport's real underdog stories, the undrafted, undersized receiver out of Hofstra became one of
the Jets' all-time greats because of an oversized heart.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: NHL - A league that really needed a high-profile Stanley Cup Finals instead
ends up with Edmonton against Carolina. I'll ask it now: How many people do you know that will
actually be watching? And those that are covering the games? Have fun getting from Raleigh to
Edmonton in less than three flights.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Stephon Marbury - "I hope that every player on this team comes back next
season," Marbury told the New York Post. "I honestly mean that. Every player. I think we have a great
team. I think it will be so much different next year." In the same interview, Marbury stated he hopes to
die a Knick. Considering he, along with Isiah Thomas, has already killed the franchise, Marbury's
dream might come true sooner rather than later. I'm gonna stop here, though, since there are just
WAY too many jokes that can be made about these comments and my head is about to explode just
thinking about it..
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Dirk Nowitzki - His 50 point effort in Game 5 of the Western Conference
Finals against Phoenix Thursday was the final step in Nowitzki's ascension to the NBA's elite. With
his Dallas Mavericks advancing to the NBA Finals two nights later, Nowitzki now will be taking his
game to the game's grandest stage. Anyone who has not yet heard of him will know all about David
Hasselhoff's biggest fan very, very soon.
Week ending May 29
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Edmonton Oilers - For the first time since 1990, one of the NHL's most
storied franchises is back in the Stanley Cup Finals. Can this group, led by players most casual fans
east of the Mississippi haven't heard of, replicate the success of Gretzky, Messier, et al?
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Timmy Smith - The former Washington Redskins running back, who came
from obscurity to run for a Super Bowl record 204 yards in the January 1988 contest against Denver,
was sentenced to two and a half years in federal prison this week for conspiring to distribute cocaine.
Smith had been a security guard at a juvenile detention center before his arrest
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Dave Flemming - "Finley runs. The payoff pitch. A swing and a drive to deep
cen..." That was the call by Flemming on KNBR Radio for Barry Bonds' 715th home run. Why?
Because his mic cut out during the call. Rough break for the Giants' broadcaster, who unfortunately
lost a chance at having one of the game's more historic calls.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Barry Bonds - Love him or hate him, and whether you feel he deserves it or
not, he is now second on baseball's all-time home run list.
Week ending May 21
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Miami Heat - After dispatching the New Jersey Nets in a less than expected
five games, the Heat sat back and watched their Eastern Conference Finals opponent, the Detroit
Pistons, fight through a seven game battle with the Cleveland Cavaliers. The question for the Heat
now is whether the layoff hurt the roll they were on or helped them rested up for a potentially tired
Pistons squad.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Jens Lehmann - In Europe, the Champions League Final is as big, if not
bigger, than the Super Bowl is here. This year's contest pitted Barcelona against Arsenal on Tuesday
in Paris. In the 18th minute, Arsenal keeper Lehmann, who had not given up a goal in ten games,
was given a red card for tripping a Barcelona player. His ejection not only forced Arsenal to play a
man short the rest of the way, but forced Arsenal to play with a keeper who had not played all season.
Arsenal went up 1-0 shortly after the ejection, but the combination of playing a man short and
inexperience in goal ended up to be too much, as Barcelona came back late in the game to win 2-1.
Lehmann's red card was the first in the history of the Champions League Final.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: George Shea - "This could be so critical to our sport," said George Shea, chair
of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, which sanctions more than 100 eating contests,
including the Nathan's event. "It's never good for the same athlete to win so many years in a row. The
Fourth of July has been stolen from Americans because of Kobayashi's dominance and now America
has someone who they can get excited about." There are too many funny comments possible here,
so let's move on.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Barbaro - In one of the most unfortunate moments in recent memory, the
Kentucky Derby winner suffered major injuries in the Preakness after taking a bad step early in the
race. As of this writing, he was still undergoing surgery for the "life-threatening" injuries. His racing
career is certainly over. Here's hoping his life is not, as well.
Week ending May 14
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Buffalo Sabres - The Ottawa Senators were the odds-on favorites to
represent the Eastern Conference in the Stanley Cup Finals. But the upstart Buffalo Sabres,shocked
the hockey world by knocking the Sens out in five games, with the winner coming on a shorthanded
goal by Jason Pominville. All five games were decided by one goal, a fact that certainly will be long
remembered in Canada's capital city, especially since the inexperienced Ray Emery was filling in for
a questionably injured Dominik Hasek in goal.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Michael Cohn - Folks, we have found the ultimate loser (yes, this guy is even
worse than Isiah Thomas). This guy filed suit against the Anaheim Angels after failing to receive his
free giveaway tote bag at a Mother's Day promotion in 2005. The promotion was advertised as being
for women 18 or older. Cohn sent a letter of complaint to the team, who sent him four bags as an
apology. The suit was filed anyway. And people wonder why there is such an aversion to lawyers
these days. Get over it, buddy. Really. It is just plain stupid.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Jason Kendall - "Major League Baseball has turned into a badminton league."
That was what the Oakland Athletics catcher had to say after receiving a four-game suspension for
charging the mound. "The fact that they won't knock anything off is embarrassing to the game
because the game has changed. Now you can't really defend yourself. I understand I have to be
suspended, but it's not like I went out and picked a fight. Nothing would have happened if he wouldn't
have said anything to me, if he wouldn't have taken three steps hard at me." I don't think I need to add
me to this one.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Randy Johnson - Looks like the demise of the Big Unit is upon us. Two
more ineffective starts by the Yankee lefthander show that his best days are clearly behind him and
that he is an average at best pitcher these days. Yet another solid investment by the Pinstripes, who
refuse to learn that it was chemistry, as much as talent, that earned them all of their World Series
from 1996-2000.
Week ending May 7
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Los Angeles Clippers - In winning their first round playoff series against the
Denver Nuggets, the Clippers won their first playoff series in thirty, yes thirty, years. Then, they were
known as the Buffalo Braves and topped the Philadelphia 76ers in the first round. Possibly the
most-maligned franchise in all of sports, this year's version of the Clippers are quickly becoming (if
they aren't already) this best feel-good story in sports in 2006.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: Fran Foley - Just three months after being hired as the Minnesota Vikings' new
director of player development, and days after the NFL Draft, Foley was fired by the team after it was
learned he embellished his resume and bio and the team's Draft was negatively reviewed. Foley is
now suing the organization, claiming his contract was guaranteed and that he was lured from another
job. If his resume was, in fact, falsified, then he deserves to go, no questions asked, since he should
have learned from the numerous examples of others who have done the same, including former
Viking coach George O'Leary. Everything else is moot.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Raja Bell - "It's been a pretty physical series, and at that point in time I had
caught another elbow in the jaw and I lost my head and overreacted to it. It could have cost my team
and for that I'm sorry." Looks like Bell's clothesline of Kobe Bryant had the desired effect the Suns
were looking for, as it spurred the team to come back from a three games to one deficit and a win
over the Lakers. This was a series that was loaded with physical play and a lot of jawing between Bell
and Bryant, not to mention the debate over who was actually the real NBA MVP - Bryant or Steve Nash.
Looks like we know the answer.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Barbaro - The thoroughbred's landslide win in Saturday's Kentucky Derby
just might be a coming out party for the sport's next great horse. It certainly didn't look like there was
anyone in the field that can compete. Is this the year we finally have a Triple Crown winner? It just
might be, considering Barbaro's lead was getting larger as the race ended, which bodes well for the
longer races still to come.
Week ending April 30 (NFL Draft edition)
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Arizona Cardinals - After signing Edgerrin James in the offseason's biggest
free agent move, the Cards follow things up by having Matt Leinart fall into their laps at No. 10 in the
Draft. With an offense of James in the backfield and Leinart throwing to Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan
Boldin, all in a new stadium, the desert isn't such a bad place to go to watch a football game, all of a
sudden.
LOSER OF THE WEEK: USC - After a season of thinking they might have the first two picks in the Draft,
Reggie Bush goes No. 2 and Leinart goes tenth. Shows you the value of those Heismans, right? Oh
yeah...Winston Justice and LenDale White both fell out of the first round, too. Rough day for the
Trojans.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Charlie Casserly - "On Thursday, we made a decision to go with Mario, and
we said that if we could get him, then let's sign him. We were confident we could have worked a deal
with Bush, too, but we made the decision to go with defense over offense because our pass rush
hasn't been what it needed to be." And so, the decision to take Mario Williams over Reggie Bush was
made by the Houston Texans. According to Casserly, it was just that simple.
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Mario Williams - A shocker at the top pick, with the N.C. State defensive
lineman goes first overall. Only time will tell whether he was the right pick over Bush.
