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May 24 - Carlos' Mystery Injury

The Windy City is shrouded in mystery these days.

Carlos Zambrano's arm was bothering him last week, causing the Cubs to move him back in the
rotation a couple days. The official diagnosis from the Cubbies was "tennis elbow", which was causing
his pitching elbow to be a little sore and tired.

Now, if they had left that alone, no one would have batted an eye. Everyone would have said he is
throwing too many pitches, as is the trend when your Manager is Dusty Baker. But apparently, the Cubs
realized that Baker was about to become a scapegoat and decided to get proactive. And the excuses
started.

First, it was blamed on too many swings during batting practice. So, Zambrano was ordered to cut down
on the BP. Now, it is being blamed on his spending too much time on the computer sending e-mails.
Huh?

Is "computer elbow" about to become the new injury of the '00s? I remember at one time there was a
thumb injury reportedly caused by too much time playing video games (I don't remember who, or when,
but found it funny at the time). This certainly sounds similar, no? Of course, I spend hours and hours on
the computer. I am on one all day at work, then, when I get home, I spend my evenings doing much of
the same (much to Mrs. Mirl's dismay, of course). My elbow has never bothered me.

The whole thing sounds like a cover-up to me. Look at the recent injury of the Cubs pitching staff. Mark
Prior has been on and off the DL for the last two years. Kerry Wood, too, including another stint right now.
Finally, the workhorse of the staff, Zambrano, feels something in his elbow. And this doesn't even go into
the bullpen, where closer Joe Borowski has just been activated from a DL run himself. There has to me
a reason for this, wouldn't you think? I know the Cubs franchise as been "cursed" for decades, but I
really don't this part it is merely a coincidence.

Maybe the Cubs ought to look into the mirror and realize that, with the studs they have on their team, they
should be coddling the Big Three starters. Prior, Wood and Zambrano, when healthy, can carry a team
not just through a season, but potentially a long way in the postseason. Maybe a memo should be
written to Dusty Baker, reminding him that these three are not just his meal ticket, but that of the entire
organization, not to mentioned the millions of diehard, long suffering Cubs fans. Stop overusing these
guys. No more 136 pitch counts, as Zambrano had in his last start before is elbow acted up. No more
short rest. Just a regular schedule and a realistic number of pitches (think 120 max, maybe).

Of course, as I was getting ready to write this, a friend brought something very interesting to my attention.
After all of the speculation and all of the theories about why Zambrano was hurt, I think we might finally
know the real reason for the sore elbow. And it makes total sense to any man.

May is National Masturbation Month.