August 14 - College Football Top 25
Drinking beer………tossing the football around………grilling up cheeseburgers….going to places
named “The Big House” and “Death Valley”….. Can you smell it? College football season is about to
kickoff. This year should provide the most wide open national title race in a long time as there is no
one team that stands out as being dominant. Moreso than any other year, you have to evaluate each
team’s schedule in making a futures bet…….I mean evaluating the national title contenders. After
painstaking research by myself and my staff, we have dissected the teams and put together our
preseason top 25 which is as follows:
The best team in the best football conference in America is our preseason #1. Auburn has the ability
to control the clock with Kenny Irons running behind a powerful offensive line. Brandon Cox got better
by the game last year at quarterback and should contend for All-SEC honors. Six starters return to
lead a defense that is always stout. Auburn gets LSU and Florida in Jordan-Hare. Their toughest
road game will be the Iron Bowl.
2. Notre Dame
Charlie Weis has the best offense in college football. The Irish attack is led by Brady Quinn, Jeff
Samardzija, and Darius Walker. Quinn is considered by many to be the best football player not
currently collecting an NFL paycheck. Notre Dame’s schedule has some land mines though as Penn
State, Michigan, UCLA and USC will all present stern tests.
3. The Ohio State University
I have four words for you. Don’t Mess With Maurice. Four guns, a bulletproof vest and a
hatchet………..there’s rock bottom…..and then there’s the place Maurice Clarett is currently residing.
I personally think he’s bipolar. Nine defensive starters are gone from last year’s team and I don’t see
the Buckeyes running the table because of that. They lose to Iowa on September 30th.
4. West Virginia
Them playing in the Big East is like Dr. Will playing the rest of the “Big Brother
All-Stars”. It’s just not fair. Put money on them to win the national title, because at
the very least you can rest secure knowing that they’re a lock to be playing in the
national title game.
Replacing Vince Young at quarterback with Colt McCoy is like replacing Vinny Chase in “Aquaman 2”
with Jake Gyllenhaal. It just can’t be done. Texas remains in the top ten, but they do not repeat as
The only thing that will prevent LSU from winning a national championship is their schedule.
Whoever put this together did them no favors as they are at Auburn, at Florida, and at Tennessee.
Toss in tough home games against Arizona, Fresno State, and Alabama and you have the most
rigorous slate in the country. This team could play great football and still go 10-2 in the regular
The Hawkeyes are my national title sleeper. Somehow the Hawkeyes avoided having to play Penn
State this year plus they get The Ohio State University in Iowa City. Their only tough road game is at
Michigan. If you were going to rank teams by their chances of running the table, Iowa would be in the
top three. Drew Tate returns to lead a capable offense and the Hawkeye defense is as stout as they
8. Penn State
Would there be anything funnier than seeing Joe Paterno hoist the national title trophy and then
hearing him say in his best “Eric Cartman” voice, “to those of you who thought I was too old……….
how would you like to s*ck my balls”. Penn State’s two toughest games are among their first four of
this season as they play at Notre Dame and at Ohio State. If the Nittany Lions win those they run the
table. That being said, I can’t see them getting the sweep.
If the Golden Bears win their season opener at Tennessee they will be 10-0 heading into their game
against USC and Marshawn Lynch will be a heavy contender for the Heisman. The key to the Golden
Bear season will be finding a quarterback who can both lead the team and stay out of barfights.
You don’t lose Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush and then compete the following year for the national
championship. You just don’t. It’s the equivalent of airing “Saved by the Bell The College Years”
without “Jesse Spano” and “Lisa Turtle”…….and we all know how that worked out.
(Speaking of Elizabeth Berkley aka “Jesse Spano”, I was watching “Showgirls” again the other night. I
rank the lap dance scene with Kyle MacLachlan at #7 on my list of “moments in which an actor is
having more fun than should really be allowed.”
The Horned Frogs will truly be a national title contender when they sell their souls
and admit Rhett Bomar into school. Until then they stand the best chance of
being a BCS spoiler. If they beat Utah on October 5th, they will run the table.
Chris Leak reminds me of the girl who looked really good the first half of freshman year and then
slowly added on 17 pounds over the next two and a half years. The key to Florida’s season will be if
Leak can rebound and finally be the player everybody thought he could be. Even if he does breakout,
the Florida Gators will not run the table. They have games at Tennessee, at Auburn, in Jacksonville
against Georgia, and at Florida State.
Miami possesses the best defense in all of college football. Will it overcome the loss of four starters
on the offensive line plus the poor man’s Lloyd Carr in Larry Coker? I don’t think so.
Trotting out Joe Tereshinski at quarterback and having him lead this Georgia Bulldogs cast is like
having Rosie O’Donnell host the “Lingerie Bowl”. It just doesn’t make sense. Unfortunately, Mark
Richt won’t make the switch to either Joe Cox or Matthew Stafford until mid-season when it will
already be too late.
15. Florida State
“Free Shoes University” catches a huge break with Miami’s Ryan Moore and Tyrone Moss being
suspended for the season opening clash. Florida State also avoids Virginia Tech this season. This
means if the Seminoles play to expectations they should be in the national title hunt. That being said,
the “Criminoles” have been blowing games to lesser teams in recent years and I fully expect them to
do that again this season.
Rhett Bomar being suspended made Oregon’s schedule a little lighter. However there are two other
early season road land mines which will be extremely tough. The Ducks are at Fresno State on
September 2nd and at California on October 7th. They are also at USC late in the season which
means they have no shot at the Pac-10 title. This is another team that could play great football and
still lose two games.
A little rule of thumb when evaluating Michigan. Lloyd Carr will be outcoached in any big game. That
means you have to rely on Michigan having superior talent. This Wolverine team does not have that
and will not be a factor in the Big 10 or national title race.
Brian Brohm might be the second best quarterback in the country and Michael Bush will play running
back in the NFL. The Cardinals can put points on the board with anybody in the country; however they
play as much defense as Paris Hilton after three Cosmopolitans.
19. Fresno State
Their season comes down to two games. They play at LSU on October 21st and at
Boise State on November 1st. Win those two games and they can start to dream in
20. Virginia Tech
Getting rid of Marcus Vick is addition by subtraction. Losing Jimmy Williams and Darryl Tapp isn’t.
The Hokies take a step back and rebuild.
If they had Charlie Whitehurst coming back they would be a top five team. Quarterback concerns are
the only thing holding Clemson back right now.
22. Texas Tech
If Texas Tech doesn’t win the Big 12 South this year, they may never win it. The Red Raiders are a
better team than the Bomar-less Sooners. Texas Tech also gets Texas in Lubbock on October 28th.
The Bruins should start off strong; however the middle of their schedule is ugly. The Bruins are at
Oregon on October 14th, at Notre Dame on October 21st, and at California on November 4th. If they
win two out of three, it will be a rousing success. However it is much more likely that UCLA wins only
one of these three games.
The key to this team is Tyrone Prothro. If he is at full speed then the Alabama offense should be
formidable. Their schedule is extremely rough as they play at Florida, at Tennessee, and at LSU.
25. South Carolina
Spurrier is returning his starting quarterback and wide receivers. That means at the very least the
Gamecocks will be fun to watch, even if they have no chance at winning the SEC title.
If you have any questions or comments feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.