April 30 - Warriors, Come Out An Pla-ay
In the words and voice of Eric Cartman, I have but one thing to say……“How would you like to suck my
balls….Mr. Barkley?” Hahahaha. Great call “Sir Charles”. Oh and by the way, having somebody from
Alabama tell you that Sausalito/Marin County sucks is the exact equivalent of Cash Warren hearing
that Jessica Alba is an ugly tramp from one of the Greek guys dating Paris Hilton. Not since the “Run
TMC” era has there been a better time to be a Golden State Warriors fan. I just spent $40 on eBay for
a “We Believe” T-Shirt that may or may not have beer stains on it. To be quite honest, I’m hoping for
beer stains. I want to be a part of what went down in Games 3 and 4 in the Oracle…..cough….
Before I get started on what might be the greatest upset in NBA playoff history, I have to announce
something. I was wrong and Chris Mullin was right. That trade with Indiana has turned out to be
tremendous. If Stephen Jackson goes out and commits a triple homicide at The Hustler Club later
this summer, the trade was still worth it. For the first time in a long time, Golden State Warrior
basketball is a must-see event. A team and a fanbase that has been dormant since 1994 finally has
a reason to stand up and be heard……..and it feels great. A full mea culpa on my part is warranted.
Knowing that criticized the trade with the Pacers is like reliving a sloppy college night. I just want to
put it behind me and wish that it had never happened.
While watching the Golden State Warriors win Games 3 and 4, I had the same goosebumps that
“Double Down” Trent must have had when he saw Mikey dance with Heather Graham in “Swingers”.
Our little baby is all grown up. Not only are the Warriors winning, but they are doing it with swagger.
Baron Davis is playing so well, I half expected Jessica Alba to look over at Cash Warren and say
“sorry Cash…….I’m moving on up” and then make out with Baron at halfcourt during the Game 4
postgame interview. The aforementioned Stephen Jackson has been electric on both ends of the
court. To top it off, Jackson is showing that he has a little “Big Shot Bob” in him. Due to Mikael
Pietrus’ play I have established a one-month moratorium on making fun of the French. Matt Barnes is
playing like a tattooed Shane Battier. Jason Richardson and Monta Ellis have both had their
moments. Outside of Al Harrington’s shooting slump, every single player on the Warriors is playing
at a higher level than they were during the regular season. That speaks to the character of this team
and Don Nelson.
This team beating Dallas may well be Don Nelson’s crowing achievement. Ever since the 80s, Don
Nelson has always been enamored with a smallball lineup. Give Nelson a conventional lineup and
he underwhelms. Toss him five athletic guys and a center that is 6’9” and he takes you places.
Maybe the Golden State Warriors are too small to win the NBA Championship, but this team is just
offbeat enough to knock out a heavyweight. I love them. I don’t even want to think about our matchup
problems with a Houston or Utah. I just want to live in this moment.
On the other side of the coaching equation, all Warriors fans should tip their hat as well to Avery
Johnson. He is coaching this series with the flare of a young Marty Schottenheimer. If Dallas slowed
the game down and started playing the two-man game with Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry, the
Warriors would be screwed. Unfortunately, Avery is the last person on the planet to realize this. He’s
the guy with a thousand dollars in his pocket that can’t close the deal at the Bunny Ranch.
For years, the NBA has been nothing but a rumor in the Bay Area. The past two nights it finally came
back. An area with a long love for the roundball finally got excited again. Our crowd was like a college
crowd in Games 3 and 4. Boisterous. Loud. Real Drunk. We were virgins on prom night. I half
expected a court storming after Game 4. Having a contending Warriors team is a feeling not felt in
thirteen years. Welcome back old friend. Welcome back.
If you have any questions or comments feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.